Waves

Waves of Mercy
Waves of Grace...
Doing the Wave...
Turns out lots of things come in waves.

Like FEAR

Keeps hitting me between the eyes that we are moving. Soon. 1700 miles away. I get overwhelmed and exhausted thinking about it. And silly us, we think we can plant a church! What if no one comes? What if we screw up royally? What if we fail? What if we make fools of ourselves? What if we make fools of God?

The what if game sucks. And is futile.

But you know what also comes in waves?

Faith.

That keeps hitting me in the spirit. As the whatifs are washing over me getting higher and higher and I start thinking that it all depends on me and someone made a huge mistake... here comes the faith. Not from me! ha! I don't have the faith of a mustard seed. But the "author and perfecter of my faith" sends out another wave and it lifts me up instead of drowning me. Or maybe it's that I let go and drown in it? I'm not sure which. I'll readily admit that "surrender" is not on my list of spiritual gifts. "Stubbornness" or maybe it was "mule-headed" came up at the top though.

So, if you can wade through all my analogies, I'm experiencing the back-and-forth of freak-out vs. faith. I start thinking that I am the least likely person for this job. And God reminds me that He is the most likely person for the job, and He's doing it, not me. I realize that we are not independently wealthy and cannot afford to run off to Madison, WI to plant a church. God reminds me that He owns the cattle on a thousand hills and is funding this operation. I start thinking that no one in Madison will listen, no one will come. God reminds me that His sheep hear His voice.

So, everyday I'm seeking Him. I'm learning that painful art of surrender and trust. I'm failing a lot and flailing a lot, and He keeps whispering, "My Grace is Sufficient for you, too Jennifer."

So, bring on the waves!

The Glory of it all is He came here
For the rescue of us all that we may live
For the Glory of it all!